first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
