It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
We left the knife in your bed.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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