I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
