I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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