So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
