And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
