I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
