defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
