I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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