he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
