you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
