i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
