Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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