Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
