Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Randomize
