I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
