There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
