I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
