I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
