i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize