the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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