You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
