I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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