Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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