Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
He kissed a someone with a penis
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize