I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
