just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
