thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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