I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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