girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Randomize
