i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
