rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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