I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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