how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
