Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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