Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize