.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
the liver wants what the liver wants
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
