just tell him i said nine months
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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