the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
