I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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