they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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