She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
