the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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