Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
