Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
