im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
either way he was missing a nipple.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Randomize
