He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
