did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize
