ya dads aren't the best wingmen
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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