we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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