I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
