he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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