i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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