No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
