So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
