It was confusing and full of hummus
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Two words: blizzard sex
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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