Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think I am morally bankrupt
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
