he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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