i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize