At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize