i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
