Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
id be glad to
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
