Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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